When the Holidays Aren’t Quite Picture-Perfect

I love the holidays. Fall is my favorite season, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and Christmas? Well, let’s just say I’ve been known to go a little overboard.

One year, our whole family went to a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm, and we found an unbelievable bargain.

The tree was about sixteen feet tall.

Our ceilings are nine feet (actually I think they're closer to 8). 😂

Now, everyone loved that enormous tree, but my husband and I had the final say. And let me tell you, we couldn’t have bought a regular-sized Christmas tree for what they were asking for this monster!

We knew perfectly well it wasn’t going to fit in our house.

But at that price? Apparently, we decided that was a problem for later. 🤣

So home it came, where my husband proceeded to take a chainsaw to it on the porch. We kept the top eight feet, trimmed the branches, and decorated our bargain Christmas tree, complete with a place for the star. The rest eventually became fuel for outdoor bonfires.

Most people trim a little off the bottom of their Christmas tree. We apparently preferred to buy ours in bulk.

And I’ve been known to leave Christmas decorations up until February. Occasionally March. At that point, I suppose they’re just getting a head start on the following Christmas.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about what really makes the holidays special.

And what happens when life doesn’t look quite like the picture we had in mind.

The Memories We Make

Thanksgiving at our house means turkey, everybody’s favorite side dishes, laughter around the table, and usually some football, whether we’re watching it or playing it outside.

One of our favorite Christmas traditions is our Seafood Christmas Eve Dinner. When I was a teenager, I lived with a wonderful Italian family who are still very dear to my heart. They celebrated the Feast of the Seven Fishes, and my husband and I enjoyed celebrating that tradition with them for years.

When we started our own family, we brought the tradition into our home, too. Over the years, we’ve made it our own, with plenty of seafood, pasta, bread, and all the fixings. And, of course, enough food to feed a small army. Because apparently, that’s just how we do holidays around here. 🤣

We exchange gifts, and my husband reads the Christmas story from the Bible.

I love every bit of it.

I love decorating, cooking, finding just the right gift for someone, and watching their face when they open it. I’ve probably spent more money on Christmas over the years than I should have, but giving gifts is something that genuinely brings me joy.

And please don’t misunderstand me. If you love going all out for the holidays, decorating every corner of your house, cooking enough food to feed a small army, and piling presents under the tree, enjoy every minute of it!

I certainly do when I can.

There’s nothing wrong with celebrating big, just as there’s nothing wrong with keeping things simple.

Life looks different for all of us, and sometimes it looks different from one year to the next.

This year, for example, the budget is a little tighter, the decorations are going up later than usual, and some of our family celebrations will happen on different days.

Our children are practically all grown now. Some are married, some have careers, and even our two youngest aren’t so little anymore. Between work schedules and everyone having lives of their own, getting the whole family together takes a little more planning these days. Sometimes Thanksgiving happens on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. This year, our big Christmas gathering won’t even happen until the Sunday after Christmas.

And that’s okay.

Because it isn’t the date on the calendar that makes those moments special.

It’s being together.

When I think back on the holidays we’ve shared, I don’t remember whether every decoration was perfectly placed or whether the table looked like something out of a magazine.

I remember the laughter, the familiar recipes, the handmade decorations, and the excitement on our children’s faces.

More than anything, I hope they remember how it felt.

To be loved. To belong. To know they mattered.

When the Holidays Feel Different

Of course, I also know that not everyone is looking forward to the holidays.

Some are grieving someone they’ve lost. Others are missing people who are still living but, for one reason or another, are no longer part of their everyday lives.

Some are facing their first holiday without a spouse. Others are divorced, far from family, or spending the season alone. And sometimes, even in a house full of people, a heart can feel terribly lonely.

There are parents wondering how they’ll afford Christmas presents. Families worried about keeping the lights on. People wondering whether they’ll have enough food to eat tomorrow, much less a holiday meal.

That’s real life.

And it’s heavy.

But I think it’s important that we recognize it rather than pretend everyone is having the most wonderful time of the year.

We don’t always know what someone else is carrying.

And recognizing someone else’s hardship doesn’t mean we should feel guilty for the blessings in our own lives. We can be thankful for what we have and still have compassion for those walking through a difficult season.

Sometimes that compassion looks like an invitation to dinner, an extra plate of food, a phone call, or simply sitting with someone who needs a friend.

We may not be able to change what someone is going through, but we can remind them they don’t have to go through it alone.

And if you’re the one carrying something heavy this year, I hope you’ll remember something I’ve been reminding myself:

You can be grateful and still be grieving.

You can love the holidays and still find them difficult.

You can laugh around the dinner table and cry later when the house gets quiet.

One doesn’t cancel out the other.

A Little Grace for the Season

My faith isn’t something I turn to only when life gets hard. It’s the foundation of my life. I trust God. Period.

That doesn’t mean I always understand what He’s doing. I know He has a plan, even when I can’t see it. I still have days when I worry, feel overwhelmed, or cry my eyes out. But I know He sees me. I know He’s with me. And even on the days when I feel alone, I know I’m never really alone.

Romans 8:28 is my favorite Bible verse because it reminds me that God works all things together for good for those who love Him. That doesn’t mean everything that happens is good. It means I can trust Him through all of it, even when I don’t understand.

My circumstances may change, and some days may be harder than others, but my trust in God doesn’t change.

As we head into the holidays, I’m reminding myself that everything doesn’t have to be perfect.

The decorations might go up late. The presents might be fewer. The plans might change. There may be people we’re missing or worries we’re carrying that nobody else can see.

But there can still be moments of joy, reasons to be thankful, and opportunities to show love.

For me, Christmas is ultimately about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, the greatest gift God has given us. That’s the heart of the holiday, whether there are twelve presents under the tree or only one.

And whatever your beliefs or traditions, I hope this season brings you moments of peace, kindness, and connection.

Whether your table is crowded or quiet, whether you’re surrounded by family, spending time with friends, or enjoying a peaceful day on your own, I hope you know your life and your presence matter.

Give yourself permission to enjoy the moments you can and feel the things you need to feel.

And if you have the opportunity, make a little room for someone else who could use some love.

Because someday the traditions will change. The children will grow. The holidays may look nothing like they once did.

And what we’ll carry with us won’t necessarily be the perfectly decorated house, the expensive presents, or the meal that took two days to prepare.

It’ll be the love, the laughter, and the moments that made us feel like we belonged.

Even if the Christmas tree had to be cut in half first. ❤️